The art of happy when happy isn't there.

My husband made an interesting comment this morning - how do you write happy posts when you are not happy?
My instant response was I'm not not happy, I'm a hundred emotions at the moment but unhappy is not one.

Life is a very complicated process but you know what I wouldn't miss any of it for a moment. I'd rather feel angry and frustrated or worried about money or thrilled by my family then miss out on any of these feelings. It is what makes us human, it gives colour to something that too easily could become black and white.

I've always been a grey kind of girl with a large mouth. I have very strong feelings and opinions but I'm kinda fence sitting most of the time. I know what my values and ethics are and I'm content for other people to see things differently but I would much prefer if they saw things my way. See here comes all that contradictory stuff again - I'm pretty sure if I said up, me would say down and myself would just look very confused.

Happy is such an interesting concept - some people have even made a lot of money out of teaching people to be happy. Gosh that is a scary concept - charging people to learn to be happy. I'm pretty sure that babies work that early on without reading a manual or paying to have anything balanced.
Maybe we need to just sometimes get on with things faking if we must until we make it. I know it isn't that simple when we are feeling like happy is out of reach just beyond our fingertips but maybe it isn't as complicated as we like to make it.

I find happiness in a hot cup of tea in the morning brought to me by my husband. I remember my grandmother, Cissie, in that cup of tea - the times I sat at her kitchen table drinking out of a big white tea cup. She would freshly brew a pot in her silver teapot; tea made from Lipton's Quality Tips. She would sit on the other side of the table, after ensuring my cup was full and the biscuits were plentiful, listening to every word that came out of my mouth. She would provide sympathy, smiles and unconditional love as I told of the woes and successes of my life. There were no devices to distract her, no time constraints - just that moment of tea and me. I still have in my kitchen her old glass tea jar with its broken red plastic teaspoon - it is in use at all times usually filled with Lipton's Quality Tips.

I like the idea of remembering each day why we are happy and yes, we do need to remember there is much to be happy about. It is never all bad, it is hard sometimes and we can have days that don't go well but we always have room to be happy if just for a moment within 24 hours.

So I will continue for another 92 days to post my happy thoughts and then who knows perhaps there will be 100 more.